Author: Sparhawk Mulder
The field of medicine includes many different kinds of people. It is diverse and sometimes unpredictable, and you never know what your doctors and nurses will be like. But still, many stereotypes have evolved over the years, and sometimes they can be amusingly accurate. Here are some of the more common stereotypes, in the opinion of two different providers: (Note: this list is for fun, and no offense is intended. Enjoy!)
ER Doctors: “I got it, I got it, what the hell was it?”. ER docs treat first, ask questions later. They positively love ordering CTs.
Charge Nurses: Do not get on the head nurse’s bad side. They are very competent and very very scary.
ICU, ER, and OR Nurses: They all have incredible hand skills, and “could put in an IV from 15 paces”. Neonatal-ICU nurses’ skills are unparalleled.
Mid Levels: “Work as much as a doctor, and get paid half as much!”
Orthopedists: “Strong as an ox and twice as smart!”, as the saying goes. Orthopedists are retired jocks, and like to use their hands a lot.
Pediatricians and Family Practice Doctors: They are all very kind. It’s almost a requirement.
Trauma Surgeons: The opposite of pediatricians. Aggressive, and usually ex-military. Also perpetually stressed, and they always have stomach ulcers.
Oncologists: As well as being very smart, Oncologists are very thoughtful and introspective. They see a lot of death.
Psychiatrists: “It takes one to know one”. Psychiatrists range from slightly off to definitely crazy, but all of them have something strange going on.
Medics and EMTs: YEEHAW! Drive fast and intubate faster, “scrape it up off the pavement and drive it around”.
Community Health Center workers: Are either paying off student loans, or are total boots-in-the-sand SJWs (but in a good way).
Subspecialists: Special Snowflakes, but also The Smart Guys.
Neurologists, Nephrologists, Pathologists, and Neurosurgeons: The Really Smart Guys.
Interventional Radiologists/Cardiologists: The very highly paid ones.
Subspecialty Surgeons, Radiologists, Pathologists: Not known for their people skills.
Medical Students: Always wear short white coats, and are perpetually worried about something. They also always go for the strangest diagnosis: “A person hears hoofbeats and thinks ‘Horse!’. A medical student hears hoofbeats and thinks ‘Zebra!’”.
Residents: Always harried and hurried. They only eat frozen food, and eat dessert first (literally, not figuratively, because they have no time).
Hospital Administrators: Completely unaware of what it’s like “in the trenches”, even if they were once a doctor. They have grand plans and fancy offices.
JACHO (Joint Accreditation Committee for Hospitals and Organizations): Even worse than hospital admin, they’re both out-of-touch and assholes.
Et voila, a semi-comprehensive list of the stereotypes in medicine (from the perspective of two non-specialty providers). Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments!